1. How do you define happiness? (from Beth)

Happiness is ever changing, so the definition I’m giving now is different than if you asked me that question a year ago or five years ago and I’ll probably give another definition a year from now. The 2009 November edition answer is thus: happiness is when you see where you’ve been and can guess where you’re going and you’re actually ok with it. It’s sprinkled with the very joy you bring to it, but make no mistake: YOU BRING IT. If you don’t, then happiness will elude you until you make a choice. 

2. How do you survive the ever changing face of education? It seems to change almost hourly lately. (from Amanda)

I don’t think it’s possible to go into the field of education and believe that it won’t change. Everything changes and if we don’t keep up with it then we’re useless to our students. Lately, I’ve been talking to teachers and friends about how we must meet kids where they’re at if we’re to make an impact into their learning. They use texting and MySpace and Facebook. Unless we start to communicate with them on those terms, we are lost and powerless. Surviving ever-changing education means being willing to take risks in how you present information that you want students to grasp. Surviving education means taking a chance and doing your own action research and then reflecting on how that worked or didn’t work. When it doesn’t work, try something else. But I also heavily advocate that teachers teach the way they liked to learn. If I see History teachers failing to use the biographies they love, the Discovery channel programs they watch, and the joy they feel when discovering history then I can’t imagine a student will fall in love with what’s already come to life for the teacher. 

3. What coffees are you drinking these days? You once wrote each day what coffee you had and that always put a smile on my face. (from KC)

KC remembers me from the old days when I did a Cuppa the Day. Ah. The good old blog days. These days I’m in a Peet’s fix that has me in a grip that won’t lighten anytime soon. That’s because a new bakery opened up in my town that serves it and my cuppa is overflowing with that goodness. Since I’m now lactose intolerant (Heh. God has SUCH a sense of humor!) I use soy milk and I’ve finally given up Splenda. So it’s a very lightly sprinkled cup of coffee that helps me start my day.

4. What is the worst part about being an assistant principal? (from Jenni)

The worst part is taking blame for things beyond my control. Listening to angry parents is never fun especially when they are blaming me for their child’s behavior (this happens to EVERY administrator) but I’ve learned not to take it personally. When I became a parent at the age of 15 I knew that my child would be responsible for her choices so I’ve never really understood parents who are in their 30s and beyond who don’t do that same thing. It’s mind boggling to me.

5. Can you defend your support of the horribly mundane and boring NPR station in less than fifty words, using the words “culture”, “stimulating”, or “the”? (from Avitable)

Avitable is a very good friend of mine who is all pisspants because I called him uncultured for not liking NPR. If he would just listen to the stimulating Ira Glass or the hilarity of “Wait, Wait! Don’t Tell Me!” with Carl Kasell and Paula Poundstone then maybe he could remove that stick from his butt that renders him incapable of knowing good stuff when he hears it.

6. What do you see happening in today’s school system that makes you happy? We always hear the negatives (budget cuts, test score declies) – is there anything happening that you like? (from Serena)

There are actually things I like about No Child Left Behind that make me happy – teacher accountability and student data. But the system things I like are allowing for teachers to be the respected professionals that they are because there is a wealth of knowledge there and you can see that in every single school across the country. The trick is to learn how to bring it out in people who haven’t been respected in their positions. 

7. What do I have to do to get your mother to adopt me? (from Tanis, the Redneck Mommy)

Tanis, dear? I think all it will take is one visit from you and then mom will get the paperwork started and I’ll have to share my room with you so do me a favor and don’t choose pink as your room color and never get into my makeup and earrings and we’ll get along just fine as sisters. Also? Bring the kids. She’s a sucker for grandkids. OH! And bring some of that Canadian beef. You keep talking about it and she grew up on a farm so I’m sure you’ll have meaty conversations about that. 

8. Why is it that when someone is referred to as a ’scrooge,’ the implication is that the person is greedy and heartless? Didn’t Scrooge in fact find redemption at the end of A Christmas Carol and become a person committed to helping others and celebrating the holiday? What does that mean regarding societal attitudes towards forgiveness and redemption? (from Brandon)

Brandon reminded me that I taught “A Christmas Carol” for several years to my 7th graders and that it’s not written in chapters but staves. I know, right? It’s not a well-known fact. To answer his question I just have to refer back to it – Scrooge did indeed get redeemed and changed his ways and became a community member that I’d be proud to live with and from which I could learn.

9. What’s the one thing that you would most like to accomplish in your lifetime? (from Average Jane)

The only thing I want to accomplish (now) is getting that doctoral degree. I honestly want to tackle that beast because school has always scared me (or made my self-esteem plummet)  and going from the feeling that I wasn’t smart enough to actually doing it gave me more confidence than I ever thought possible. I want to experience that high once again.

10. It’s often the littlest things – like having the right sized purse for school – that can give us the happiest moments. Can you talk about some little things – small favors or kind remarks or anay such thing – that have given you some of your happiest moments? (from Rodd)

When I was in college and was raising two kids by that time (Mason came along when I was a mere 20 years old) there was a woman at church who asked me about my Christmas plans that year. Let’s face it – I was a 21-year old with two kids and was on welfare and gifts were out of the question. I joked that “We’d focus on the REAL reason for Christmas and just do it with a cup of hot cocoa” and she took that to heart. She had her entire women’s group buy gifts for my kids and they delivered them WITH A FULLY DECORATED CHRISTMAS TREE on Christmas Eve. It was little for them to do it for me, but huge in my mind. I vowed to always find someone that I can give back to when I was financially able. Those happy moments are insanely important in my life.

BONUS questions from the Caffeinated Librarian:

What first draws you to a book? A character that I instantly love so authors have to work hard to do that quickly. 

When where you last surprised by a book and why? [Spoiler alert!] I think it was a few years ago when I read “The Lovely Bones” and it was the girl that she brushed by as she left the earth after being murdered (and hey, the book begins with her saying that she’d just been murdered so I’m not giving anything away there). It surprised me that we can have such a powerful moment in which we touch someone else and become connected in a powerful way. I also just love the first line of that book.

Almost all families have recipes that have special meaning to them. What one dish/recipe/story is one of your family favorites? My dad makes incredibly good spaghetti in his own Creole way (with sausage and green peppers and a sprinkle of voodoo magic) and my mom makes the very best deviled eggs that I’ve ever had. Oh, and her fried chicken is amazing. There’s really no story to this, except that when I graduated from college and was having my own party my parents (then divorced) said that they each made the best spaghetti and deviled eggs (better than the other parent) and brought them to the party. I refused to offer up a winner.

What’s on your current 10 song desert island list and why?

Can I save this one, Libby? I have to think too hard  for that right now and it’s time to publish!

Thanks for playing and letting me force you to ask questions!

So, how’s the NaBloPoMo going? Is your MoJo still going? I’ll tell you what. When Mrs. Kennedy came up with this brainchild I was excited and I’m so happy to see some folks doing it along with me. I find my writing tends to speak more toward the ‘audience’ than normal. Remember the other day when I forced you to de-lurk? Yeah. Well, I got that all mixed up. It wasn’t until the 21st apparently. Don’t you want to SLAP me?

Here. I’ll make it up to you. 

In writing for 24 days in a row and finding out that it’s not so much work as it is commitment I’ve also gotten questions in comments that I’ve been really bad about answering. BUT, I do end up answering them in e-mails to people. Now, that? I’m pretty good about doing. 

One of my favorite things to read in Time each week when it comes delivered to my house is to read about the celebrities or political figures or writers and the 10 questions section. This last week it was about Zac Efron and let’s face it: I’m no superfan when it comes to him, but I still learned a lot about him in reading the answers he provided. Since I’m doing all this talking to you I thought I’d take the lazy way out give readers a treat and allow questions. Because if that isn’t the easiest way out I don’t know what is! Except writing lists!

Let’s do this thing. I’ll pick ten questions and then that will be my post tomorrow. I’ll answer questions and write them as they come to me. If it gets out of hand someone will have to throw out the Safe Word. That word is SANITY. Because after 24 days of writing, I’m pretty short on that.

Ready? Set? Hey! Are you ready? OK. Let’s GO. No slapping.

In doing this purse drive I’m trying to keep up with all that’s happened. When I shared it with a friend of mine who has seen the purses flood into the school he said, “You know, this is bigger than you now.” That became apparent very quickly because in my mind this really was a small thing. A very small gesture that began with a seed: if I bring in a few of my old purses these girls can have them. It’s an oak tree now and includes purses from all over. California, Indiana, New York, Kansas, New Orleans, Connecticut, Michigan, England, and Ireland. Each time my mom picks up the packages at the post office she helps me open them and we read the cards that people enclose and the notes that are inside some of the purses and we are overjoyed each and every time. We smile and hold up the purses, “Look at this one!” and “How cute!” and “Someone is going to LOVE this one!” It is a ritual that hasn’t gotten old. We just like to hold them in our hands knowing that some girl is going to happen upon a purse that she just has to have and then take it home with her.

There have been purses dropped off at my school, too, by locals. People I don’t know who read about the story in the newspaper and decided to join. A woman, whose two children I taught years ago, who called the school to talk to me and catch me up on how her son and daughter are doing and who shared with me that her mother had graduated from my high school many decades ago. A local church Sunday school group who has taken the project on themselves and gather them together to donate. It’s beyond me now. It’s bigger than I could have imagined but grassroots-type efforts always seem to do that, don’t they?

Last week while my committee girls were selling purses at lunchtime there was a student who came to stand close to me. It’s not unusual for her to do that. She’s often by herself and is very shy and quiet so we chat about how her weekends were or what kind of homework she’s had lately. I never miss a chance to speak with her. She has that look, that needy gaze that tells me she only needs a moment of my time and then she usually trots off someplace else. But she lingered one day and I asked her what she thought of the purse drive. She said it was a good idea and she wishes she could have one. Do you know that feeling of playing Santa Claus when it’s not Christmas? I leaned over and whispered to her, “Why don’t you pick out your very favorite purse and tell me which one you like best? You can have it. We can make this happen.” Again. It was small. It was Santa-y, but still, small. If she herself were a Christmas tree she would have lit up right there on the spot complete with flashing lights and tinsel and sparkles.

Today, in the mail, there were 10 boxes of purses from different people. If there were even one more opportunity to make a girl feel what I read on her face in that moment then I hope I get to see it.

I wish you could see it, too.

I’ve been loathe to publish a bucket list. There is a misconception that you want people to know what you want so that they can get it for you. That’s not the case for me. I’ve not even put too much thought into it because I’m afraid. It’s really scary to say what you want aloud. Because when you do that you open up an entire Pandora’s Box worth of failures as to why you haven’t gotten to have those things. You see all the opportunities that you passed up and somehow remember them as the chances that passed you by because it’s easier to think the universe has it out for you. So I’m going to be brave and try to come up with some things that I’ve said I wanted before and put them down in a list to commit to myself that I can actually someday get them or get to do them for myself. 

Choose a set of China that I will take out and use for everyday occasions as well as special ones.

Do a food tour across the world to see what they eat for their everyday meals in other countries.

Attend an intensive writer’s workshop.

Eat tapas in Spanish bars in Spain.

Drive a luxury vehicle or a convertible. 

Visit the South and take several historical tours and eat really bad-for-me food.

Do a family lineage history tour to see where my people come from and figure out where it is that I’m going.

Own a great set of steak knives.

Learn to water ski and snow ski and then ACTUALLY SKI.

Learn to make the perfect, flaky pie crust.

Throw a great backyard party. On a regular basis. 

Know the difference between Kansas City BBQ, St. Louis BBQ, Memphis BBQ. I know there must be others. 

Take lessons for the cello and perform a recital.

Learn to shoot my camera in RAW, exchange lenses, play around with Photoshop. And then PRINT my photos.

Learn a real ballroom dance to perform.

Snorkel.

Save money and keep a real financial profile that’s functional and easy to understand.

Earn a doctoral degree. Probably in curriculum and instruction. It’s my strength.

Fly first class. Anywhere. It doesn’t matter. Wait. No, it does matter. I’d like to fly first class to an overseas location.

Dip my feet in the waters of every ocean on the planet.

Go to Milan and take in all the fashion I can manage.

Backpack and hike.

Change the oil in my car all by myself.

Do voiceovers for movies or television. I do a mean imitation of Anjelica Huston’s commercials she did for the American Steel Companies.

Plant a garden, watch it grow, see it through to the harvest.

Spend a week in Amsterdam with my friend Joe visiting bookstores and drinking beer. (Joe and I are internet friends and have never met, but he works in a bookstore.)

Learn to make gravy so well that people involuntarily say, “Ummm” when they eat it.

Rent a Winnebago for the summer months when my children can take a cross country trip with me.

Increase my vocabulary every month for a year. (With quizzes! And tests! And ways to apply them!)

Ride a motorcycle all by myself. 

Take a painting class.

Find out the differences in culture between Italy and Sicily. (And be able to speak Italian while I do it!)

Eat more raw foods.

Take a regular pilates class using the equipment.

Spend a week in New York eating at lovely restaurants, shopping in expensive stores, and taking in a Broadway show. Or four.

Go to a remote island location where the water is so clear you can see through it and enjoy a sandy beach for hours.

Practice an entire routine with the Rockettes. 

Have need for a ball gown. 

Knit a baby blanket.

Figure out my home decorating style and make one room a sanctuary from the storm so that I can have a real “Happy Place”.

Take yoga for an entire month to learn the effects of it on my body and my mind.

Do a wine tour with a few friends.

Find the perfect pair of jeans. (Hips and thighs and butt, Jean Making People!) (Remember that I have a butt.)

Take a cruise that ports and get the chance to visit multiple places along the way.

Wear expensive diamonds out to a party and sparkle all night long.

Take a meeting with a book publisher to discuss my options.

This will be the first year in the history of my being a parent that I won’t be with my children on Thanksgiving day so we have decided to our meal today. It was the basic turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie (blech. I don’t eat it, but the children do – I just eat the whipped cream out of the can when no one is looking) and cheesecake. I made everybody clear their schedule so we could spend the day pretending like it was really Thursday. I watched a full 10 minutes of a college football game on tv this morning (don’t ask which one, I just wanted it to feel like Thanksgiving) and then later we sat down to view “Miracle on 34th Street” because we didn’t have the real Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade to get us through. Divorce is hard on kids and families and this was the best I could do to make my family enjoy a meal. Creating a family moment that feels right is more work than one would anticipate, but if it’s crafted just so then you can convince yourself it’s Thursday and not really Saturday.

Even though we kept calling it Fake Turkey Day we all pretty much realized that it was important to make the effort for this day. It felt weird at first and any time we needed to go out for something we surprised ourselves with, “Wow, there are SO many stores open today on Thanksgi…OH YEAH THAT’S RIGHT IT’S SATURDAY.” It even ended like our Thanksgiving meals normally do – arguing about who will do dishes and who will put the food in the leftover containers and with everyone sitting around the television afterward with their hands in the waistband of their pants.

Actually, we pretty much do that every Saturday night. We’re doing this family thing the best we can and it’s damn near perfect.